Wouldn’t it be nice if the next time your PC gets a virus and your Apple®©™-using friend/acquaintance/mortal enemy smugly reminds you that “Macs©®™ don’t get viruses”  you could run them over with your car? Too illegal, you say? Well then, why not run them over with the facts?

The fact is that the Apple®©™ operating system is now becoming a major target for the human-boogers that write viruses, as has long been predicted. This is mainly because as more potentially smug wannabe turtle-neck® wearers use these devices, hacking Apple®©™ becomes more profitable.

As always, the best solution is to live in constant fear of your computer, and also to stop trusting your friends and relatives on general suspicion. Or I suppose you could come by the shop sometime to to learn to prevent viruses on your Mac®©™ or PC.

Sound familiar? You’ve been bad and you know it. You took your tax return money and instead of applying it towards something useful, you went out an bought a new electronic device! A smart phone, a new computer, an Ipad, Blu-ray player or something electronic your significant other has been advising you not to get. What are you going to do if it breaks? We can fix it if it’s a computer.

Everyone knows their computer wants to kill them through regular sleep deprivation and eventual cardiac arrest induced via chronic technological frustration, but many of us believed until recently that their Apple® IPhone®’s were different. I mean, they’re just so cute; how could they do a thing like that? Well folks, as anyone who has ever been murdered by their new kitten can tell you: sometimes cute can be potentially deadly.

In a recent flight over Australia®, an IPhone® began to heat up, eventually turning bright red and emitting dense smoke. Even though nobody was injured, this kind of thing is why the NCR staff believes you should always be afraid of everything around you at all times. I need to hide now… I think a hear a kitten coming.


Apples big announcement for Tuesday October 4, 2011 is…. not the Iphone 5! Instead it is something called the Iphone 4S. What’s the difference between that and the Iphone 4 you ask? Aboslutely nothing! No, we were lying... it's faster than the Iphone 4, and it has a higher pixel camera. 8 whole megapixels to be exact (the Iphone 4 only had a crappy 5 megapixels). As far as visual appeal, the Apple engineers really wanted to set the 4S apart so they made it look.... exactly the same as the Iphone 4! Since this article no doubt made you want this phone real bad you should know that the Iphone 4S will be available on ATT, Verizon and Sprint. Here's a link to Apple so they can continue to convince you to buy this phone. Happy Appleing everyone!